It’s that time of the year again. Companies are trotting out their HR department to give us the annual open enrollment presentation. It’s the time to take a look at all your benefits and make sure they fit all your needs. It’s also the time when most twenty-somethings are confused af. What does everything mean? Am I dying? Do I care? These are all the thoughts I had during mine:
1. Why isn’t there any food at this meeting?
2. I could really go for a muffin right at this very moment.
3. Wait, why am I not allowed on my parents’ insurance anymore? Did I magically turn into an orphan at 26?
4. I need to make a dentist appointment.
5. Why are all these options so confusing? Which one prevents me from dying?
6. I need to make a doctor’s appointment
7. Wow, I really don’t care about any of this.
8. I could go for a donut right at this very moment.
9. Why isn’t there any food at this meeting?
10. Why do I have to be subjected to the intimate details of my coworkers health insurance problems right now?
11. They’re talking about life insurance now. Have to write that will soon. Who should I give my Instagram password to?
12. Wait, do I need glasses? Warby Parker is cool.
13. This is taking forever and there’s no food.
14. I’m still not sure about anything I just heard.
15. I wonder if they can forward this entire presentation to my mother.